


Anti-Utilitarianism

by ouro_boros



Category: Archer (Cartoon)
Genre: Archer 1999: The Leftovers, Blanket Permission, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, Podfic Welcome, Wordcount: 100-500, sort of? But very low stakes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-05
Updated: 2020-07-05
Packaged: 2021-03-04 21:07:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 228
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25082848
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ouro_boros/pseuds/ouro_boros
Summary: Pam and Carol have a chat after the events of The Leftovers (AKA, Pam wants to lead and Carol wants to make everyone miserable).
Relationships: Pam Poovey/Cheryl Tunt
Comments: 2
Kudos: 8





	Anti-Utilitarianism

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this in one evening with pretty much no editing, so it's a little sappy. Just a warning.

Pam picked at a pebble on her forearm.

"So," she began as though asking the room, despite there being only one other occupant, "you want us miserable, huh?"

Carol slowed her spinning seat just enough to glance at Pam every couple of seconds.

"Uh, yeah," she said. "Duh."

"Oh."

Carol didn't know much about Pam's species or home planet or, frankly, anything that didn't directly impact _Carol_ , but sounds like the one she was just forced to endure made her wonder what the fuck kind of environment would evolve a rock to do puppy dog eyes. Why. What was the point, aside from the obvious: ruining Carol's life.

"And you seriously want to be a leader? Like, a captain, or whatever Miss Archer is?"

"I mean, yeah. It's something I've always wanted, and honestly, I think I'm pretty good at it. When not high off my ass on crazy eggs."

"Better than the rest of those idiots either way. You should be in charge."

"Wait—really?"

"Totally. It would eat them up inside, having to answer to you. And I guess I can give up one person's miserableness if it doubles everyone else's. Plus it'll never actually happen and I _love_ false hope."

Pam beamed—and, again, who decided ROCKS should be able to smile like that??

"Thanks, Cheryl."

"I'm like, 40% sure that's not right, but whatever."

**Author's Note:**

> me: 1999 is good, but probably my least favorite arc  
> also me: *makes my first archer fic about 1999*
> 
> [You can find me at oury-boros on Tumblr!](https://oury-boros.tumblr.com/)


End file.
